Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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