So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
