I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
