drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
