SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
