gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
