Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
