call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
