i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
