I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
