i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
