The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
