nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I am available for nakedness
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
