i used baking grease as lip gloss
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
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