im drinking this country out of the recession.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Randomize
