i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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