Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you didnt know i had herpes?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
