I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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