I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
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