Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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