you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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