I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
