I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
