i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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