yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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