it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
