I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
i now understand why vodka
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
