Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
My ATM looks so different sober.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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