Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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