I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
