i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
