dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
