I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize
