peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
