My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Randomize
