My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
