Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
