what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
