You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
