Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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