sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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