you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
