If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
