You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
