At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
