I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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