I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
