She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
