He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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