This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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