I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize
