He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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