You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
