I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Panties = found
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
